Homework vs Family

Is Homework Necessary?

As the saying goes: Too much of a good thing can be bad for you.

On average school-age children spend 6 hours a day at school, under the watchful eyes of their teachers, but it doesn’t stop there. There is homework to do too. What is the purpose of homework? Do we think that by loading lots of homework on children it will somehow keep them out of trouble? This, in fact, produces an adverse effect, as it means less family time.

Whether you wish to admit it or not, the parents are the child’s primary teachers. Parents are teaching their children from the time they are born. It is the parents that have taught the child what is acceptable and not acceptable in our society, their manner of speech and in their manner of interaction with others around them. The less time children have with their parents and siblings, the more inclined they are to be anti-social. The less time parents spend with their children, the more the chances of the family being dysfunctional, thus leading to anti-socialisation.

Older teenagers who are doing their final years in general education should be able to have the support of family around them, instead of them ‘disappearing’ into their rooms – not to be seen for weeks on end, due to the heavy study load. Homework as we know, depletes the love for learning. The love of learning is what makes a child or even an adult excel in education.

When there is a love of learning, there is no stress, therefore resulting in higher achievement. Schools in this present age are like over-boiling pressure cookers. Teenagers, youngsters need to set virtually unobtainable goals to meet the pressure of deadlines. The stress is at an extreme high. “We want to prepare the students for what they will experience at University”. Is this to our advantage? No, in fact, the statistical level of ‘burn outs’, nervous breakdowns, mental disorders, and suicides are at the highest it has ever been in history and young people are experiencing this even before they enter the adult work force.

Children assess their worth by their achievements. With unrealistic expectations forced on them by general educational institutions, their self-esteem and self-value plummet. The need to feel successful causes them to become workaholics, many of whom do not even enjoy their work. The more work they do, the more stress they have, the more stress the more they feel the need to achieve – it’s a vicious cycle.

A love of learning, achieved by setting a realistic pace of education, enables the young adult entering the workforce to make the right choices as to their line of work and to ultimately enjoy what they do. People who love their work and their work environment are statistically said to be more productive and produce better results, thus in turn, contributing to society in a very positive way.

Let’s bring back the love of learning by lessening the need to meet expectations of an already burned out, crazy world. Let’s re-set the pace to where we can appreciate the good things we have in this life.


Copyright 2006. Rebecca Laklem.

Reflection on Wedding Vows

" I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part." (Traditional Wedding Vows).


Take you to be my Wife/Husband

A conscious choice.

To Have and to Hold

Martial Faithfulness - The wife belongs to the husband and the husband to the wife.

From this day forward

Marriage is for the long-haul. It is a marathon not a sprint.

For Better or For Worse

The Good, the Bad, and the… Pet Peeves. There is no cheap way out. If you enter marriage with the thought “If things don’t work out, I can always get a divorce”, don’t get married in the first place. Divorce should not be in your vocabulary. Divorce is not the ‘easy way out’.

For Richer or For Poorer

Money issues are a big breaker of marriages. When, you get married, don’t go into it for the money. Money cannot buy happiness. If you don’t have high expectations of what your life will be and can be content with just being with your spouse, unselfishly, then you will have a happy marriage.

In Sickness and in Health

There will be times, when you will need to pull the weight when your spouse is sick and not physically able.

To love and to cherish

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

From this day forward

Commitment, Dedication, Loyalty and Trust – these a vital elements for a marriage to be
strong and stable.

Until Death do us part

A Life-time warranty. If we treat our spouse with respect and love it will often last more than a life time.


Copyright 2006. Rebecca Laklem

NB: God forbid, if you find yourself and/or your children in physical danger from your spouse, then seek professional help and advice immediately.

Common Courtesies

Common courtesies appear to be a rare occurance in our society today. Where have they gone and from whence do they come? Before the early 1900s, chivalry and genteel ways were commonplace. They were down to a fine art by the mid 1900s, to the point of bantering. Then with the rise of the women's liberation movement for equality among sexes, chivalry and courtesy towards women, if accepted, was considered weakness. In turn, the male population lost respect. It is not wrong to have made a stand for equality in some areas but what has happened is the 'baby was thrown out with the bath water' It has been a gradual diminishing of respect on both sides.

I believe that today the media has been a very powerful tool in setting the trend of what is seen as acceptable to the younger generation today. Fashion trends, behavioural trends, speech trends. But where in fact does society get what it deems acceptable to society? Regardless of race and culture, where do our customs , national traditions and acceptable behavioural patterns come from?

Before the eras of industry and technology, history shows us that much of what we think, do, and say comes from folklore, stories, songs and sacred writings which have been passed down from generation to generation. Our mothers and fathers taught us and their mothers and fathers taught them, and their parents before them and so on.

The Bible tells us in Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NIV) :

"These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your heart. Impress them on your children. Talk to them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

In other words, it is the parent's prerogative and responsibility to teach their own children. This is nothing new, this has been happening for thousands of years. Yet, it has been in these recent years, where that responsibility has more often than not, due to commitments outside the home, been passed on, consciously and willingly or not, to schools and other learning institutions, even Sunday Schools. Yet, the underline factor remains - it is still the parents' primary responsibility and it always comes back on them.

Television has now become the most common medium to shape the way of society. Has offensive language become so commonplace, that it is now acceptable? God forbid!

The family is the foundation and fabric of society, mediums such as television and media should be used in a more constructive way and should do more to support and make families stronger. Preschool programs have been useful in reinforceing such healthy personal habits such as personal hygiene, being orderly, sharing with others, caring for animals etc. So it should be also for older children, teenagers and young adults.

Bad and offensive language should be seen as unacceptable once more; the code book of the law should be adhered to, and not that a man becomes a hero because he doesn't go by the book; violence should be unacceptable and shown as such, not projecting that the good guy can be just as violent as the bad guy and/or even worse because the good guy outdoes and triumphs over the bad guy by being even more violent!

We should turn the tables and begin to teach our children once again to grow to be respected members of society with:



RESPECT AND HONOUR

1. Parents

Deuteronomy 5:16 (NIV)

"Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and they it may go well with you...."

Proverbs 23:22 (NIV)

"Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old."

Ephesians 6:1

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."


2. Elderly

Leviticus 19:32 (NIV)

"Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord."


3. Authorities


1 Peter 2:13-14 (NIV)

"Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authoritiy instituted among men; whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right."

Titus 3:1 (NIV)

"Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good."

4. Everyone

1 Peter 2:17 (NIV)

"Show proper respect for everyone...."


5. Husbands

1 Peter 3:1 (NIV)

"Wives, in the same way be submissive (meek) to your husbands...."




CONSIDERATION

1. Wives

1 Peter 3:7 (NIV)

"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives....."


2. To others

Titus 3:2 (NIV)

"To slander no-one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility to all men."


As parents, let us also not forget to set a good example for our children. Then the world would be a much better place.



Copyright. Rebecca Laklem.

Keeping Up With The Joneses

Keeping up with the Joneses has never been as rife as it is today. With technology booming, everyone has computers, email, or kids on MSN Messenger, Mobile phones, text messaging, DVDs, CDs, MP3 players and Ipods. Things now, we cannot imagine the world without. Even the Y2K scare got people thinking….for a time, the very thought of existing without technology, caused a gigantic wave of panic for some.

After being forced to use a standard attached phone due a fault in the cordless one, our daughter asked me when we would be getting a cordless phone again. Replies to letters are expected immediately and information is paramount in the classroom to the extent that so much is given in the classroom that the student cannot retain it all, then to add to the stress, there’s homework, not just a 15 -20 minute worksheet for each subject but a couple of hours of homework for each subject. Homework goes well into the early hours of the morning. And holidays….what are those? Yes, you have it, homework in the holidays too. Children are in school from the age of 5 until the age of 18. Then move on to university too. With the majority of both parents working full-time, preschools and day-care centres are now a regular thing. When do parents get time with their kids? From waking up until the start of school, everyone is rushing to get ready for school and work, from 9-3 kids are in school and from 9-5 parents are working. Then when you get home - there is homework, housework and dinner preparations. The only time free usually is over dinner, which for some is in front of the TV chilling out. Then the homework starts again. Lights out. Sleep. The alarm bell rings - the cycle starts again, only this time in the waking hours of the morning, homework often isn’t finished,
so a sit-down breakfast goes out the window, you’ll be fortunate to shove something nutritious in their hand as they run out the door to get their ride to school. The rat-race has begun.

I often say we need 72 hours in a 24hour period to keep up with everything we need to do in a day, but then when you think about the mindset of today, if we had 72 hours for every 24, we would then need 144 hours to cover the 72 and on it would go until the world would be spinning so fast, we’d all fall off.

I was told by one teacher that the work given to the students in school today was preparing them for what they would face in university. Really? Is society gearing them up for burnout so that they know what burnout feels like before they get the real thing? When in all of history, has depression, anorexia, suicide been so prevalent in our children’s and teenager’s vocabulary. Whatever happened to reading and learning being fun?

Gone are the days you can stop and smell the flowers. Gone are the days where the children had time to sit down and eat a decent meal. Gone are the days, where the children are spending time learning life-skills from their parents. Gone are the days of receiving a handwritten letter. Gone are the days of “Little Red Riding Hood” skipping down the path to Grandma’s house with a basket of baked goodies to share.

We’ve come through all the ages - the Stone Age; Ice Age; Industrial Age; Technology Age…how about we now start the Human Age. Turn ourselves back from being robots on a high-speed conveyor belt and be human again.

Blame the TV? Blame Computers? Blame Mobile Phones? No……blame the Joneses whoever they are. Stop the world….I want to get off and smell the flowers; observe the stars; enjoy all the wonderful things God has made and to enjoy time baking cookies and pies with my kids. (Dad is welcome to kick the soccer ball!).

Copyright 2006. Rebecca Laklem

Homemaking - The Way God Intended

Homemaking can be overwhelming when it is total chaos - mountains of laundry, a never-ending stack of dishes in the sink, children running amuck through the house. People often picture in their minds, the mother going through the house picking up after a trail of clothes and items left by the child. Though this can be true, we can also envision the devoted mother and housewife fervently cleaning the house with preschooler and toddler in her wake undoing everything the Mum has just done seconds after she leaves the room. It is a daunting task housework, to say the least, it seems it is never-ending and so it is. How do you solve this dilemma?

Homemaking in my definition is "creating an atmosphere of peace in the home, a safe haven from the frenzied world outside". A seemingly impossible task, you say, not really - no. Before I go on, I need to mention that the above scenario was very familiar to me. It leaves you with a sense of despair and hopelessness and with it - an 'its no use' lack of motivation. The whole chaotic cycle continues, driving you deeper and deeper into a rut that you think you can never get out of.

I was caught in that vicious cycle many-a-time before, yes I had an excuse it seemed, 7 children including a preschooler and toddler, but still that didn't solve the issue. At my wit's end, I finally 'got down to business' and asked God for help.

Here are a few things that God drew to my attention which I would like to share with you:

PROVERBS 31:10-31 Shows the role model we are to measure up to - to be the best and do the best at homemaking. This is what she had:

CONFIDENCE

Believe in yourself. If you build up your self-esteem and have a good sense of pride in yourself, your family, your home, then others around you will mirror that. (v 11-12)

MOTIVATION

Get up ready to 'take the bull by the horns' vigorous and eager to do what needs to be done. If you lack this, as we all do at times, you need to have a determination and goal to jump that hurdle. Pull up those socks, roll up those sleeves, grit those teeth - most of all, pray - Ask God to help you to pull through and achieve. (v13, 17)

MANAGEMENT

You need to look after the affairs of your household - budget your household and food allowance. Organise your finances so that you can meet the needs of your family - when they need it.

PREPARATION

Plan your day. Give yourself enough time to achieve what you want to achieve, otherwise time flies and you don't know where it went. Most importantly, plan your day with God. Make it a part of your quiet time. Even if it means getting up an hour earlier. (v15)

INVESTMENT

Make something profitable from what you already have. This can be in many ways, forms and shapes. Such as: Taking time to really listen to your children's thoughts and dreams; doing an activity together as a family such as a hobby or making cards and gifts instead of buying them from the store; build good memories together; buying staple groceries such as flour, rice and canned goods in bulk. You may even want to go as far as property or business investments.
(v 18)

RECOGNITION BY OTHERS

You don't need to have an important job or role in the community to be recognised by others, just reaching out and going the 'extra mile' for others is what makes the difference in people's lives that others in the neighbourhood and community cannot help but notice. (v 20)

SAFETY-CONSCIOUS

"The lamp does not go out at night" means to always be on the alert for the safety of your family. Check on the kids, lock the doors before you go to bed, check for fire-hazards such as make sure blankets are not close to heaters, unblock exits - that sort of thing. Be alert also for changes in weather in order to maintain wellness and comfort in the family - the blanket pulled over when the temperature drops etc. (v 18b, 21-22)

OVERSEEING

Delegate tasks but also get involved. Train and teach - not just 'bark orders'. While you are in the middle of making breakfast for example, remind the children of when things need to get done. Delegating is not enough on its own. It is necessary to train and teach your child how to do the task and do it well. Assist them where they fall short. As overseer of your home - YOU have the full responsibility of whether a task gets done, not your child. If the task if for some reason not done in time, or not done properly - then it is up to you to make sure the task is done the way you require. Don't lock yourself or your family into a set way of doing things but take full responsibility for the affairs of your household otherwise you are bound for frustration and disappointment which usually ends up vented at the children or 'kicking the cat'. If the task is not 'up to par' to give you peace of mind, then finish up the job yourself just the way you like it. This way the children and hubby come home to a peaceful environment instead of a 'screaming frenzy'. (v 26)

PRAISED

When you have achieved all the above, others will praise you. (v 28-31)

Copyright 2005 Rebecca Laklem.